When is it time to let go?

It looks like Maggie has cancer under her tongue. She has been losing weight but still seemed to be feeling fine so we decided to book a dental appointment for her. She was not really eating the hard food but the soft food so I thought her teeth might be hurting her. I dropped her off yesterday and got a call from the vet at 10:30 am...I knew that was not good. He said he found a lesion the size of a dime under her tongue. I immediately said "REMOVE IT AND BIOPSY IT!". He then had to explain to me that while he would remove as much as he could, he could not get clean margins without removing her tongue so he would take as much as he could. He said there is a slim chance he is wrong and that it is an injury that is healing...right.

Crap.

I asked him to please do so and I would talk to my husband. It took the better part of the day to get a hold of him and he asked me to find out when I picked her up if she was in pain.

According to the vet, she probably is uncomfortable eating hard food but if she is acting normally, then she probably is not in too much pain. I got her home and she was so happy and ate like a maniac - poor Murphy moved too slowly and she ate his wet food. For a kitty that was under sedation, she moved and played like nothing had happened. The the hard conversation and the heated debate that Pat and I are currently having. When should she be put down.

If Pat had his way, he would have done it last night. I nearly took his head off. If he had gone to the vet instead of me, he would have done it. We do not know what type it is, is it aggressive or will this buy her time. I feel her quality of life is still good and so does he. So why is he feeling this way? He says he does not want her to suffer at all. I am not for letting an animal suffer but I cannot understand doing it before the suffering occurs. Yes, she was hurting with the dry food but she can eat soft food so the suffering has been alleviated. If she gains weight and is active, why not let her have the extra time. I just don't understand.

He thinks I am being selfish and I think he is being selfish. We have at least agreed to get the results of the biopsy back and watch her eating and activities for the next week. If she shows she is in pain, I am on board with putting her to sleep. I understand how much he deeply loves Maggie and think that is why he wants to do it now. He is her human and they have a connection that is so incredibly deep.

But I love Maggie too. And I would not let her suffer but I do not want to take any days away from her prematurely.

We are both right and wrong in this situation. So the question of the day is: When is it time to let go?